


Worthy

by sybilsarmy



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:25:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sybilsarmy/pseuds/sybilsarmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim finds herself in a bad situation while trying to deal with the events of the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This picks up at the end of the next to last episode from season 1, and there are likely to be some spoilers and some knowledge of what went down in that episode would be helpful. I'm ignoring anything that happened on Chicago Fire around the same time, because the timelines were a little confusing and it took away from what I'm doing here. I'm also making up some situations because it simply hasn't been on the air long enough for us to know much about the characters - if you read this a year from now, it'll probably be an AU!! It's still a work in progress, but I want to try to finish it before the next episode if I can. Just wanted to get chapter 1 out here before I chicken out!

Walking underwater.

It was the closest Kim Burgess could come to describe the crushing pressure, the impression of everything around her being distorted, that she felt coming out of Voight’s office. She could’ve handled just about anything else. Truthfully, even with all of the “big swings” she’d taken, she knew Atwater deserved the open position as much as she did. He had seniority, too. She was an adult, she could have been happy for him and disappointed for herself at the same time if the reason she didn’t get the job was that innocuous. Even if she’d made some sort of procedural error – something fixable – she could have worked with that and still felt confident that her time would come.

That’s not what happened, though. Voight wouldn’t take her because he knew she still had feelings for Ruzek. She’d thought about Adam constantly for the nearly four months they’d known each other, but she’d backed off first. At least she thought she had – but when he came to her that morning with such aggression she was taken aback. Clearly she’d done something to make him uncomfortable, to make things hard for him, and now it had cost her his friendship, the job she wanted so desperately, and her partner. She was thoroughly unprepared for the flash of white hot anger she felt when he spoke to her with such concern on her way out of the unit. It only lasted a moment before the guilt took over again. It was her fault, as usual. Her mother was right – she ruined everything she touched. All she wanted now was to get out of the building without seeing anyone else that she knew. Any acknowledgement was apt to open the floodgates and she’d never be able to explain why she was so upset, or feel comfortable showing her face again. She had 15 feet to go.

10 feet.

5 feet.

She was at the door, touching the handle, when Platt bellowed for her. So close. She stopped for a second, taking a breath and steeling herself against whatever might be coming. Without a word, she turned and waited.

“Hey – buck up, buttercup. At least your boyfriend is single now. There’s that, right?”

Kim had no idea how to respond, so she didn’t. After a few uncomfortable moments of standing there, blinking and trying to understand, Platt took the closest thing she could muster to pity and explained, “Wendy dropped by this afternoon and dumped his ass. Threw the ring at him on the way out the door. He didn’t tell you? I thought you’d be the first to know.”

She was nauseous, and felt everything closing in. Was THAT her fault somehow, too? It had to have been – he would have told her otherwise, right? 

“Don’t puke on my floor, Burgess,” said Platt.

Realizing that was a possibility, she yanked the door open and ran for her car. She took a minute to ground herself, gripping the steering wheel and regaining control. As a teenager, when the abuse hurled at her and at her sister had peaked and she was making destructive decisions, her biology teacher intervened with advice that she’d carried with her to this day. It was that advice that led her to the academy. He said to her, “The best remedy for feeling worthless is to do something worthwhile.” It had been years since she felt this worthless, and she knew what to do. It was her best shot at being able to handle Monday when it rolled back around again. 

She picked up the phone, dialed a number she knew by heart, and said, “Hey, this is Kim. If you’re going out tonight, I’d really like to come along.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little tough to write after catching the last episode - DID YOU SEE THE LAST EPISODE OF SEASON ONE OMG OMG SQUEEEEE THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW YOU SAIL A SHIP. Sorry, had to let that out. Anyway, I have a million other ideas after seeing that last episode, but decided to go ahead and keep running with the story I've already got outlined. Ruzek is 32, and I felt the need to address what he might have been doing with his life the last few years. BTW, did anyone else get thrown off by the timeline? Antonio was in the ICU and could barely form words and Atwater was supposed to start the next day. Atwater shows up for his first day...and so does Antonio? Oh well - if they keep showing me Burzek scenes like they did this week, I'll happily suspend disbelief and roll with it!

It was a little after 8pm, Adam Ruzek was hungry and tired, and as he rifled through the pile of lukewarm food strewn across the kitchen floor looking for something that wouldn’t kill him, there were two thoughts looping through his mind.

"She took the fucking refrigerator."

And

"Please, God, don’t let Kim stay mad at me."

Sure, when Wendy came by the station in tears and tossed his ring back at him, he told her to take whatever she needed, anything in the house was fair game. He’d made a good bit of money selling out his roofing business before he went to the academy and he took responsibility for trying to force their relationship to work when he’d known for the last few years it wasn’t right, so there was nothing in the house he couldn’t afford to – or didn’t deserve to have to - replace. Hell, Wendy knew first. At least she had the sense to keep leaving. He was the one who couldn’t let go of the idea of being in a relationship, who kept dragging her back with promises of, “I’ll do better” and “We’ll get it right this time, you’ll see.” It honestly didn’t even hurt, it was a relief. But still, he didn’t think she’d take the REFRIGERATOR. 

At the end of the day, though, he thought it was a fair price for a chance to follow his dreams. A year earlier, when he’d decided to light his world on fire, give up the business he’d worked so hard to build and follow through on his lifelong desire to be a cop, he promised himself he’d pay more attention to his instincts. The first time he locked eyes with Kim Burgess, he KNEW. It was too romantic a notion for someone like him to speak out loud, but she was destined to be in his life. So yeah, he stepped on his own dick this morning and hurt her, and he never intended for his failing relationship to implode the way that it did and he couldn’t be completely sure is ex-fiancee’s tears were all for show, and he sure as hell didn’t intend to end the day with no appliances left in his house – but he was still confident that things would work out. He’d just have to set things right. Tomorrow, he decided, tomorrow he would order a new fridge, bring the ring back to Wendy and tell her she could keep it or sell it or whatever she wanted to do, and then he’d go fix things with Kim.

He shoved an apple in his mouth, stuffed the rest of the food in the garbage, and headed for bed with a plan in his head and hope in his heart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maryann and Lee Patton had a reputation for being one of the kindest, most generous couples in town. For fifteen years they’d operated United Hearts out of the back of a church they didn’t belong to, paying rent for the use of kitchen and storage space. Every night, without fail, even in the worst weather they were out on the streets handing out blankets, socks, sandwiches - whatever they could gather. It was there that Jack Thurston knew he’d finally meet the right woman. One that was pure of heart and mind, obedient and humble, who would live with him and serve him the way God intended and raise their children to honor him.

Lee was working in the back, taking inventory and retrieving food for preparation so Jack met Maryann first. She was a small, quiet woman with long gray hair and a soft, kind smile. She didn’t ask questions, she just trusted his intentions and welcomed his help. If she hadn’t been so old, and already married to Lee, he would have taken her to be his. She would have been perfect. But God is good, and when something is taken away, something else is always given in its place…if you’re worthy, of course, and he certainly was. This gift went by the name Kim, and though she was dressed for the world and wearing lipstick, he didn’t see any insurmountable issues with her. She was quiet, she was charitable, and he was certain the sadness in her came from not having a man like him in her life to serve.

For the next three hours, he watched her. He paid attention to her capable hands in the kitchen, to the intensity with which she cleaned – not realizing the desperation behind her efforts – and she was kind to him. She clearly recognized that he was a gift to her.

It was nearly midnight when everything had been handed out and the church was returned to the pristine condition that it was when they arrived. Confident that she couldn’t possibly say no, he invited her for coffee at the shop next to the church. She accepted, with the token protest that she couldn’t stay long, that she had an early morning ahead of her – but that was what any demure woman would say, wasn’t it? Four sips into the vile mind altering substance (one that she’d be forbidden to indulge in again), the sedative kicked in. Experience taught him when to move her. Too soon, and she might fight back. Wait too long, and he’d have to carry her out. That was attention he didn’t need. At the right moment, when she could no longer protest but she could still walk with support, he led her to his car and perched her in the passenger seat. Three clicks – one on each wrist and one connecting the chain between them to the dash – and he was on his way. Finally, he’d have the family he was supposed to have.


End file.
